A Tangled Web (Sequel To Ultraviolent)
by KatelynnBB
Summary: The second part of Jon Moxely (Dean Ambrose) and Allie's story. Will fate bring them together again? Or will they discover there are two kinds of love. The kind that lasts forever, and the kind that helps you learn and grow as a person long after its gone. Are they fated to be together?
1. How Far We've Come

_**Welcome back to Jon and Allie's story!**_

_**Please leave a review, I LOVE hearing from my readers!**_

**Chapter 1**

***Three Years Later***

Allie pulled her black Dodge Dart into the parking lot of the Girl's Haven center. Her mentor, Lynn had started it two years ago and Allie had been working there for the past year as a counselor.

Helping girls who had been through what she had been through. Telling them her story. She had a year left of college before she had her degree. She was more happy now than she'd ever been in her life. She was making a difference in the lives of teenage girls who had suffered abuse, and that meant everything to her.

The pay was pretty good at her job, and thankfully she'd just been able to purchase her first home. It was small, but she loved it. In a lot of ways it reminded her of Jon's old house. Well, she guessed he still owned it. She really didn't know. Sometimes she went up there. The grounds were kept so she knew that someone was taking care of the place. She never went back inside after that first night though...

She sighed as she got out of her car, and adjusted her brown blazer. Fall was here and there was a chill in the air. This time of year always brought her back to when she was a teenager. It always reminded her of Jon. Sometimes, she let her mind wander back to those nights when he'd held her so close, and tried to take away her pain.

Always back to that night under the bridge in her cheerleading uniform when Jon kissed her for the first time with marijuana on his breath. Back to the first time they made love, when she poured all her emotions into him. He was so strong...

She pushed a strand of her short dark hair behind her ear. It just wasn't meant to be.

Jon groaned and rubbed his eyes as the bus came to a halt. Colby slapped his leg, further jarring him from his rest.

"Dude, we're here. Wake up." he said to Jon.

"I'm already awake." Jon mumbled.

They had a show tonight in Philly, and after that he was lucky enough to have a few days off. He planned on going to his grandmother's house, and catching up with Rob. His mind would of course wander to Allie and what she was doing. If she was in town...if she was okay. Not one word from her in three years. Nothing.

He'd been up to his house a few times. Just about twice a year, but he'd never went into town, never seen any signs from her, never heard anything about her. He had heard that some woman opened up a center for girls who had been abused. A place to get them help...he wondered what would have become of he and Allie if a place like that had exsisted back then...

If there had been someone qualified to give her help, because God knew, he had no idea how to help her. He'd tried. He'd failed. He failed miserably and she'd dissappeared out of his life forever.

"You okay, bro?" Colby asked.

They traveled together a lot now. They were part of a stable called The Shield. Dean was happy and proud of the chance WWE was taking on him. He'd grown up a lot. He hadn't used drugs since he moved to Florida, and he finally learned how to handle his alcohol.

As for dating, well...dating, not so much. Banging every single girl with black hair he came across?...Yeah that was more likely. Okay, it wasn't that extreme, but he hadn't had one single meaningful relationship since Allie. And every one night stand had black hair. He told himself that was just his preference, but he knew it was only Allie.

He wasn't still in love with her, at least he didn't think he was, but forever and always she would be there...in his heart. In his bed in between him and every other woman he slept with. Her memory was haunting, and being this close to the last place he saw her was always hard.

"Yeah, bro I'm fine. I just have a headache." Jon lied.

"Alright, well I'm gonna go ahead and head inside. I wanna check out the arena while they set everything up."

"Alright, I'll catch you later." Jon said as Colby exited the bus.

He had all day until Monday Night Raw that night. He thought about joining Colby inside, but instead decided to have his rental car brought to him. Once it arrived he drove over to Milltown. Once again, the memories invaded his senses as he rolled his window down and let the crisp fall air inside.

He tried to block out any memories as he drove up the long driveway to his house. He hadn't been up here all year. He'd thoroughly avoided it. He unlocked the door, and let himself inside. The place needed aired out bad. He sat his keys down and went through the house opening every window, letting the cool breeze in.

Memories.

He walked into the bedroom and glanced at the nightstand. He cringed, thinking he'd see the picture of himself and Allie, but he forgot that the last time he was here he finally put it away. God, he looked so young in that picture. His hair was still longer, but he had a little stubble that he was keeping on his face nowadays. He'd also bulked up a little bit since then.

He was starving. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, already knowing he wouldn't find anything. He cursed under his breath, and grabbed his keys. Guess he'd have to drive to town. He hesitated before pulling out of his driveway. Milltown was closer, and his stomach was growling.

He turned the radio up loud, and blasted his music as he drove through the quiet streets leading into town.

Allie looked at her watch. It was just after noon, and time for her lunch break. She had a lot of paperwork to do so she decided to stay at her desk. It wasn't long before Lynn came in and insisted she take her break. She smiled at her older friend, and relented.

She walked into the bathroom, and checked herself in the mirror. She still struggled with her image. She had lost weight, now fitting into a size 8, her stomach had flattened out, but she still had the same thighs. She sighed. Her hair was a lot shorter now than it was back then. Now cut into a longer bob, she had a platinum streak in her bangs. It gave her an edgy look, and it was something the teens she worked with loved.

She looked at her left hand, and down at her ring finger where a princess cut diamond sat on a silver band.

She decided to call her fiance Mark on her way to grab a bite to eat. She was craving a chicken strip sandwhich from the deli at the grocery store. She pulled into the parking lot, and got Mark's voicemail.

"Hey babe, its just me calling. Wanted to see what you were up to. Alright, give me a call back, love you." she ended the message as she walked through the automatic sliding doors and into the deli.

Jon decided to just do some grocery shopping. He was, after all going to be staying at the house all week. His first full week off in three years. He always felt like such a tool carrying a basket, or pushing around a cart. He tried to just pack the items around, but soon he found that wasn't going to work.

With a sigh he gave up and got a cart.

Allie stood at the counter placing her order, her hand on her hip. Her mind was on her paperwork. It was Monday, and she had a long weekend. She was tired, and ready for five o' clock to get here. He subconciously tapped her high heel against the hard tiled floor, making a clicking noise.

Jon was handing his credit card over to the cashier when he heard a loud clicking noise. It was a woman walking out of the store. Her high heels were so loud. Jon thought it was annoying, but he couldn't help but admire her backside.

He cashier handed him back his card, and he began pushing the cart out. The woman had black hair. His heart sped up at the prospect of it being _her_, of it being Allie. He knew that was ridiculous. He walked to the rental car and began empyting his groceries. He watched as the woman dropped her keys while trying to unlock her car. She bent down to retrieve them, and Jon got a better view of her ass as he unloaded his cart.

He walked closer to her, while returning his cart to the stall. She was already in her car. She couldn't see him staring, thankfully. It was odd...strange even...something about her...

She backed out her car from the parking spot, and Jon got a full view of her face. His heart sped up. It wasn't possible. His mind was playing a sick, twisted trick on him. There's no way that was who he thought it was.

Allie.

He couldn't move, couldn't call out to her.

He watched as she sped away out of the parking lot. Was that her? Her face...

He took a few steps forward, dumbfounded. She was here in Milltown the whole time? Three years? His foot kicked against something and he looked down to see her wallet. It was bulging with receipts, and papers, and odd and end things. He pulled out her driver's license.

Allison Cambell Hamilton.

It was her.

He gripped her wallet, and carried it back with him to his car, clutching it. Trying to feel her through it. He was angry, and nervous, and sick...and relieved. He sat behind the steering wheel of his car and wondered what to do with the wallet.

Take it into the store?

Keep it, and show up at her house to return it?

Did he even want her to know he was back in town? Did he even want to see her?

"No, I don't want to see her." he said out loud to the dash of the car.

But inside he knew his heart, and every fiber of his being was saying "Yes, you do."

Before he could really make up his mind what to do he saw her car pull a few spaces down from his. She got out and frantically searched the parking lot for her wallet. Jon smirked to himself. She cut her hair. She'd grown up. God, she was beautiful. Amazingly so.

She sprinted into the store, Jon assumed to ask the front desk if they'd had anyone turn in a wallet. It was then he decided just what he was going to do.

"Fuck waiting another damn minute." he said while reaching for his door handle.


	2. Can't Go Back

_**Guys,I could not wait to post chapter 2 so please leave a review, and let me know your thoughts and opinions!**_

_**Also, you can follow me on Twitter KateDanielle09**_

_**I feed off the love you guys show me! :)**_

**Chapter 2**

Jon slipped her wallet in his back pocket, and leaned himself against her driver's side door. Would she recogonize him? There's no way she wouldn't. He had changed, yes, but not so much so.

He was eerily calm as he waited in the chilly parking lot. He pulled his leather jacket around his broad chest further, and crossed his legs at the ankles. His hair was slicked back, he'd been wearing it like that a lot lately.

He was wearing his new jeans, a t-shirt that was too tight because he had to borrow it from Colby, and sneakers.

He saw her exit the grocery store. She was staring at her feet as she walked. _So, she still does that?_, Jon thought to himself.

"Nice car." he called once she was in earshot.

"Thanks." she said automatically before stopping dead in her tracks.

Her heart dropped to her feet as she took a few more steps toward the fine looking man leaning against her car.

"Jon?" she asked while staring through him.

"Hello, Allie."

He closed the distance between them and pulled her tight against his chest, burying her face into his jacket. For the first few moments Allie stood stiff in his arms. Her mind wouldn't function.

"Allie," he whispered in her ear.

His voice sent shivers up her spine, and she found herself wrapping her arms around him and squeezing as tight as possible.

"Jon." All she could do was repeat his name over and over.

Tears sprang in her eyes at the familiarity of him. Three years felt like three minutes. He felt exactly the same. Smelled the same. And the way he held her body...all the same. She'd often thought of this moment, and what she might say, or do. How she would respond if ever confronted by Jon.

This was not at all what she expected. She didn't expect him to be holding her like she was still the most precious thing in the world to him. She didn't expect the tears, and she certainly didn't expect it to feel like she never stopped loving him.

He squeezed her to his body and let the feeling of holding her against him after all this time sink in. After what seemed like forever he pulled her back.

"I, uh...found this on the parking lot." he reached behind him and pulled out the wallet.

She looked at it for a moment before reaching out the take it. Just as her fingertips almost brushed against it Jon jerked it away from her. She looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"You owe me an explanation." he said flatly while rasing his eyebrows at her.

She swallowed, and silently shook her head. "Okay. Tonight..."

"No, Allie. Right now. I've waited three fucking years, and I think that's long enough." he told her while still holding her wallet in the air above his 6'4 frame.

"Let me call my boss." she said as she pulled out her cell phone.

The phone rang, and Lynn picked up on the other end.

"Lynn, I'm sorry but I'll have to finish my paperwork later. Something important came up, and I really need to handle it today." she said as her eyes never left Jon's.

Why did he have to look better than ever?

Her boss agreed, and wished her well with whatever it was she was taking care of.

"Follow me to my house?" she asked Jon.

He agreed with a nod of his head and walked toward his car. He glanced back at her only to see she was watching him walk away. She really had grown up. A full grown woman. Jon was confused, aroused, and taken off guard by this.

He followed her to her house. It was small, but nice, and the interior was decorated sweetly. It was all so...Allie. He took a seat at the bar in her kitchen, swinging his feet from the barstool where he sat.

He laced his fingers on the countertop as he sat opposite of him. Before he could stop himself he reached out to run his fingers down the platinum streak in her bangs.

"Nice." he said as he let it fall from his fingertips.

"Thanks."

His gaze was drawn to her hands, placed on the bar in front of him. He saw her engagement ring. "That's nice too." he said while staring at it.

She pulled her hands to her chest, "Thanks." she said quietly.

"Who is he?"

"Jon-"

"Right. It isn't my business. Of course, you were _my_ girl the last time I saw you, so seeing you again and you already belonging to someone else just kind of throws me for a fucking loop, Allie."

"Jon, there are a lot of reasons." she began, but he cut her off.

"Give me reason number one."

She sighed, "After I shot Arnold, my head was messed up. I needed help,"

"I tried to help you!" he shouted at her.

"Jon," she shouted right back, "This isn't going to work if you keep interrupting me!"

He sat back and slipped off his jacket, laying it over the back of the stool. He waved his hand, indicating for her to continue.

"I loved you, Jon, but being with you was so...intense. And it wasn't anything you ever did or said. It was just, being with you. Because I loved you so much, and you loved me just the same." she sighed.

"After I shot him, I needed space. I was messed up. I felt guilty for getting you stabbed, I felt worthless, and I didn't want you to get hurt worse. I was confused, and just wasn't really in my right mind. So I left."

Jon let the information sink in slowly. He always figured that it was something along those lines.

"I woke up all alone in that fucking hospital. No idea where you'd gone. Do you know what that did to me?" he asked.

"I'm so sorry."

"And you leave nothing more than a goddamn note!? What is that about, Allie?"

"I needed to get better, Jonathan."

"Don't!" he snapped at her, "Don't say my name like that! Why didn't you come back? Or call me? I waited and waited, expecting to hear from you. Just so I could know you weren't dead in a damn ditch somewhere! I searched for you!"

"I'm sorry." she hung her head. This was the part she expected. The yelling. The accusing. Jon getting out three years of pent up emotions towards her.

"Why? Why didn't you contact me?" he asked.

"Once you went to Florida, I was sure you'd move on. I didn't want to distract you from your career.."

"Fuck my career! I'd have given it up in a heartbeat to be with you again!" he said before he could stop himself. It was too late. The truth was shining in his eyes, and he knew Allie could see straight through him.

"Guess it wasn't meant to be. I'm just sorry it happened the way it did. You deserved so much better Jon." she said while wiping away her tears.

Jon's fingers itched to do that for her, but instead he cracked his knuckles.

"Guess you're right." he looked at her ring again.

With everything out in the open he figured he should leave. He got the explanation he was looking for. There wasn't really anything else left to say, was there? He stood to go.

"Wait," Allie said.

He turned those blue eyes on her, and she hated herself for getting completely lost in them.

"How's the WWE, _Dean_?" she asked with emphasis on his ring name. She managed a small smile when she saw him smirk. He sat back down at the bar, and she opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water and handed it to him. He accepted it, and their fingers brushed. The contact wasn't lost on either of them.

"It's good. Busy, real busy, but good." he said while sipping the water.

"What have you been up to?" he asked her.

He admired the smile that broke out onto her face when she told him about the Girl's Haven center, and about her work with teenage girls who suffered abuse.

"God, Allie, that's amazing. I'm so proud." he said honestly. She had grown into a mature young woman. God, how Jon wished she was his.

"Thanks, Jon. That means a lot. I love my work. I really do. It's helped me heal, and move on."

"I'm so glad you finally got yourself sorted out. I'm just sorry I wasn't there to see it."

"Me too." she told him.

They held eachother's gaze, the silence oddly comforting to them.

"You look good, Allie." Jon said quietly.

"So do you." she said while not so subtly letting her gaze sweep over him.

"I can't believe you're sitting right across from me, Jon. I've imagined this so many times." she admitted.

"So have I. Except you weren't engaged to another man in any of my scenarios." he crossed his big arms over his chest.

"He's a great guy, Jon."

"Save it, Allie, please." Jon held up his hand in disgust. He looked at his watch. It was going on four o' clock, and it was going to take him an hour to drive to Philly. It was time to go.

"Don't tell me you've not been with anyone in three years." she spat.

"I've never been _engaged_ to anyone." he retorted as he got up to leave.

"What does that mean?" she asked as she followed him to the door.

He sighed, "It means I've never cared about anyone as much as I cared about you, and you threw it back in my face by leaving. And now, three years later you're throwing it back in my face again. You let someone else have you, but in my head you're still mine. You'll always be mine." he said before walking out and slamming the door behind him.


	3. Like Old Times

**Chapter 3**

Jon had just successfully defended his US Title. He was angry because he didn't know about the match until he showed up at the arena. Colby and Joe wanted to go out for beers, but he wasn't in the mood. He wanted to be alone, in fact he was surprised he'd managed to even keep his head on straight since his run in with Allie earlier.

Three years later and she still had no idea what she did to him.

He hadn't even bothered to change out of his wrestling gear, just took off his pads, and pulled on a pair of sweats and a RAW t-shirt. He was cold, but the air felt fresh on his skin as he walked to his car. His hair was damp and hanging in his eyes. He drove back to his house in total silence.

He passed the road up to his house twice before deciding he didn't really want to go home. He found himself driving down under the old Mill bridge. Somewhere he knew he should leave alone, but right now he wanted to be close to Allie, and he couldn't. So, he would go to the place he felt her. The place he'd first caught a glimpse of her innocence when he'd kissed her.

He grabbed a bottle of beer from the six pack in the backseat. He popped it open and got out. He leaned on the hood as he halfheartedly tried to put her out of his mind. He knew full well it would be impossible. Especially here.

"Oh, Allie." he sighed as he cringed at their situation. He wanted to let her go, but he couldn't. Even after everything. He hated the feeling that she was going to marry another man. It made him physically sick.

Allie was getting ready to go to bed when there was a knock on her door. Her hands were shaking as she answered it. Was it Jon?

Her question was answered when she opened the door to her fiance, Mark.

"Hey, babe." he said as he stepped inside.

"Um, hey." she said a bit slowly.

"What's wrong? Were you expecting someone else?" he asked as he pecked her on the cheek.

"Hmm? No. Its just, its late."

"I know, but I just got away from the ER." he said as he plopped down on the couch, "And I wanted to see you."

She sighed, "I'm glad you came."

She went to sit beside him, and he pulled her in close. "How was your day?" he asked.

Jon's beautiful face flashed in her mind, "It was fine." she said trying to sound unaffected.

"Anything special happen?" he asked while draping his arm around her.

"Nope." she shrugged.

He was holding her very close now. Mark was a good man, and she agreed to marry him because she loved him. She did love him, but despite that they'd never been intimate with one another. She was too embarrassed to let him see her scars, and plus she wasn't sure she was ready to be intimate with anyone just yet. It had only ever been Jon...

They hadn't set a date for the wedding, and Allie was sure that before they tied the knot she will have worked up the courage to tell him about her scars, and her past. But not about Jon. Never about Jon. It wasn't because she was trying to hide anything. It's just that those memories with Jon belong to her.

They belong to her and Jon, and Rob, and Sami...it felt intrusive to tell anyone about those days. Allie got the feeling if she talked to anyone about her relationship with Jon it would leave her feeling stripped and exposed. She used the memories of Jon to wrap herself up when the world was cold, and hurtful.

Jon is the face she always pictures when she's sad, and wants someone to comfort her.

So no, she'll never tell Mark about her relationship with Jon, and everything he meant to her. Mark is a doctor, and works in the ER. They'd met through Lynn, and hit it off immediately. He was a lot older than her, eleven years in fact, and despite being only thirty two he was bald. He liked it that way. Less fuss, he had told her on their first date.

And of course, she had pictured Jon's beautiful sandy blonde hair and how he loved to wear it long. He had never considered his hair a fuss. Mark wasn't Jon though, she had to remind herself the first few months that they dated.

They'd been together eight months now, and Allie had only just started to stop comparing him to Jon in her mind.

Suddenly,Mark's hand trailing along her thigh pulled her from her thoughts. She only just realized that he was kissing her neck as his fingers moved to the inside of her thigh.

"Mark," she gently pushed him away.

"Come on, Allie...I love you." he pleaded his case.

"And I love you, but I'm just not ready."

"Can I at least stay over?" he asked.

Any other night she might have said yes, but tonight she knew her bed would be crowded enough with memories of Jon, and there wouldn't be room for Mark.

"Not tonight. I'm sorry." she kissed his cleanshaven cheek. Just another thing that reminded her of Jon, but today she noticed that he was wearing a bit of stubble now.

Mark sighed, "Okay. I guess I better go."

She got up to see him to the door, and once he was gone she collapsed on her bed and tried her hardest to fall asleep. Half an hour later she gave up and pulled on a pair of tennis shoes, PINK sweats, and a matching hoodie. She pulled the front of her hair back away from her face and got in her car.

She did this a lot when she couldn't sleep. She would drive around town with her music playing softly, and think to herself. Her mind was running ninety miles an hour tonight, and soon she found herself driving down to the old Mill bridge. She didn't want to go down there, but her car seemed to have a onetrack mind.

She saw another car was parked under the bridge. Usually she would just get out and stand by the river, listening to it flow. It eased her mind, and sometimes she didn't even think of Jon. Tonight was not one of those nights. He was heavy on her mind as she eased her car into park and turned her music up slightly.

Jon saw the headlights coming towards where he was parked. He ignored them, and took another long drag from his cigarette. He was trying to quit, but that really wasn't working out. He half expected to hear moans coming from the parked car a little ways away, but all he heard was Train.

Train was Allie's favorite band. Could he not get away from the thought of her tonight? He took a closer look at the car. It looked like Allie's from what he remembered. He placed his cigarette between his lips and walked over to the car.

Sure enough, there she sat. Head leaned back, eyes closed, mouthing the words to "Meet Virginia". He tapped on the window, causing her to scream and jump.

"Jonathan!" she screeched as she reached for the door handle. He stepped back to let her open the door.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around herself in the cold night air.

He didn't answer, just turned on his heel and walked back over to his car closer to the river.

"Jon?" she followed him.

"What do you think I'm doing out here?" he eyed her as the cigarette dangled from his full lips.

She leaned on the hood of his car, their shoulders touching. "Same thing as me?"

"Regretting stupid shit I've done, and things I've fucked up royally in the past..." he said dryly.

"Pretty much. And also thinking about the "what ifs"" she said.

They both stared off into the night, in totally different directions.

"I like your hair longer." he blurted out.

"I know." she said simply.

"Is that why you have it all hacked off?" he asked as he drew the cigarette from his mouth and blew out the smoke.

"How would it make you feel if I said yes?" she whispered.

"Kinda like you still love me, or at least care." he threw the cigarette to the ground, stomping on it with his boot.

Allie shivered in the night, and Jon shrugged his coat off, and draped it around her shoulders. He slipped her arms through the sleeves and flipped the hood of her hoodie out. She snuggled into the still warm jacket. It smelled like Jon, and she was getting high on it.

"I wish there had been another way, Jon. But I know I made the right choice back then. I had to get myself better, and I did. It sucks what it did to us, but I'm glad I did it." she said.

He turned to her. It was dark, but he could still see her face from the light of the full moon. "I'm glad you did too. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy." He grabbed her left hand, and put his thumb on her ring, "And if this guy makes you happy, then...I'm happy for you."

She looked at him, and smiled, "You're such a goddamn liar, Jon."

He dropped her hand, and threw back his head in laughter, "Yeah, I am. I don't even know this guy and I hate him."

She laughed, and without a second thought leaned her head over on Jon's shoulder. He leaned his head down onto hers.

"I've missed you Jon." she sighed quietly.

"You have no idea." he muttered.

The urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her was so strong, it took every single ounce of his willpower to fight it. If she hadn't came to her senses, and left after giving him his jacket he would have kissed her. Just pushed her down onto the hood of that fucking rental car and kissed her senseless.

Allie sped the whole way home until she was safely locked in her house. What was the matter with her? She almost kissed Jon! Almost pulled his head down and kissed him, just because she knew he'd let her! She was losing her mind.

Jon drove home, confused, a little pleased with his affect on Allie, and a little hard. God, just having her head leaning over on him like that was enough to make his cock stand at attention. Nobody else in the world could make him react that way.

He passed by Allie's old bedroom door. He was tempted to open it, but he left it closed and walked on down the hall to his bedroom. This room was filled with just as many memories. It was hard, but eventually he fell asleep. A fitful, restless, dreamless sleep.

The next morning Allie dressed in a black pencil skirt, and a royal blue silk shirt. She pulled a cream colored jacket on over it, and headed to work. She was giddy because she knew the liklihood of seeing Jon again was high. She wanted to see him again. She wanted to never stop seeing him, and that scared her.

Jon woke up around nine to someone pounding on his front door. He stumbled out of bed, and squinted against the brightness as he made his way to the front door.

He swung it open to reveal Rob standing on the other side.

"Hey, bro!" Rob said happily.

The sight of his friend's face made Jon smile. "Hey, man come on in." Jon left the door open as he moved into the kitchen to start the coffee.

"When did you get back into town?" Rob asked.

"Yesterday." Jon said.

"Oh I see how it is...don't stop by, don't invite me...yeah."

"I was a little busy yesterday."

"With what?" Rob asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Jon said while grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"Uh, Jon its nine in the morning." Rob pointed out as she took a long swig of the freshly opened beverage.

"Yeah. I know."

"Okay, so what had you too damn busy to talk to me yesterday?" Rob asked.

Jon sighed and braced his hands on the table in front of Rob. "Oh just a girl by the same of Allison Hamilton."

Rob sat silently for a moment.

"You don't seem surprised." Jon raised an eyebrow, "Why don't you seem surprised?"

"I've seen her around town, man. She's been to a few shows..." Rob stared down at the table.

"She's been to fucking CZW shows? You've seen her, spoken to her? And you didn't tell me?" Jon was shouting now, and Rob rose to his feet.

"Jon, she made me swear not to tell you. She thought you were happy, she didn't want to mess up your career..." Rob explained but Jon was having none of it.

"Why the hell does she seem to think my career is so important? Did I ever make her feel that way?" Jon asked.

"No, Jon...she just...thought she was doing what was best."

"And what about you? What about you, Rob? What did you think you were doing by keeping this from me? Making me suffer, and wonder and agonize about whether or not she was even alive!" Jon was shouting.

"I'm sorry, Jon." was all Rob could say.

Jon was angry, but he couldn't blame his friend. He was right. If he knew Allie was here the whole time he would have searched for her until he found her, no matter what kind of toll it took on his career.

The more he backed away from this, the more he could see that it had all happened for a reason. Everyone was where they were supposed to be, except why was Allie with another man? He still couldn't wrap his mind around that one.

"Its okay, man." Jon clapped Rob on the shoulder.

Both men sighed, "Beer with breakfast?" Jon asked.

"Sure, why not." Rob grinned.

Allie sat at her desk trying to focus on her paperwork. Her phone rang, thankfully pulling her from her thoughts. She glanced down at the name. It was Mark, and she didn't even know why but she let it go to voicemail.

"Hey, honey, just checking up on you. Love you." was what she heard when she listened to the message.

She put down her phone and groaned. Just then Lynn walked in, "What's the matter sweetheart?" her older friend cooed.

"I just have a lot on my mind." Allie said as she rubbed her forehead.

"Why are you even here?" Lynn asked, "You know we don't have any appointments this week. You can do tyour paperwork from home."

"I know, but I like coming in to the office." Allie smiled genuinely.

"Well, you look exhausted, no offense. Go home." Lynn said firmly.

Allie knew there was no arguing with her. She packed up her stuff and headed home. She fell over in her bed around noon, and fell instantly asleep.

_**Don't forget to review, my loves.**_


	4. You Make Me Crazy

**Hey lovely readers! Thanks for all the follows, reviews, and favs! **

**And thanks for sticking with me as I tell Jon and allie's story. I had some readers abandon ship when they read Allie was engaged. Said they want to read it anymore, so Thank You for staying loyal, that's why I lOvE you! :)**

**Also, this story is rated T, but within the next few chapters that will be changing to M. So i ask that if you're emotionally immature please take care while reading. **

**Chapter 4**

It felt like she had only just closed her eyes when suddenly Allie felt a hand sliding up her pantyhosed leg. She lay there silently, unmoving because somehow she already knew who it was. His rough, but nimble hands slid under her skirt, gently caressing her thigh.

"Jon," she moaned his name.

All it took was her saying his name, and his control snapped. Somehow she knew this was what he wanted, what he'd been craving, and she would be lying if she hadn't thought about it as well.

He was on top of her, clawing at her shirt, trying to make skin to skin contact. He couldn't get her shirt unbuttoned, and he cursed loudly as he used his strength to just rip it open. She gasped, and a playful smirk turned his lips.

She tangled her fingers in his hair. "I love you." she said.

"I love you, too." he panted as she unbuckled his pants and slid them down to his ankles, freeing his hardness.

He was even more beautiful than she remembered. Was that possible? She didn't know, and she didn't care. Without a word she took him into her hot mouth, making him moan loudly.

He rested his hands on the top of her head, "Allie, for God's sake-"

He pulled her up, and pushed her back on the bed while crawling between her legs.

He was inching closer, and closer. She knew it was wrong, but she didn't care. She wanted Jon, and only Jon. He gripped her leg by the bend of the knee as he prepared to enter her. She was panting breathlessly.

Just then, her eyes flew open. She looked at her clock. It was 1:20 in the afternoon and she was laying across her bed. She put a hand to her heart. It was only a dream. A real, vivid, extremely lifelike dream, but still...

She sighed and raked a hand through her hair, "Good grief."

Rob and Jon had lounged around the house all day. Just catching up on what had been happening with everyone.

"There's actually a show tonight." Rob said.

"What, CZW?" Jon asked.

"No, man. Its Resistance Pro. I'm wrestling. You should come check it out. Allie's coming." Rob added as if that would sway his decision. He wouldn't miss a chance to watch one of his long time buddies wrestle. The fact that Allie would be there was just an added bonus.

"Sure man, what time does it start?"

"It starts at seven, but you probably want to get there around 6:30." Rob said.

"So, Allie always come to your shows?" Jon asked as he threw an arm over the back of the couch.

Rob shrugged, "Usually tries to, why?"

Jon looked at him seriously, "You two ever...?"

"What, dude no. I would never do that to you." Rob was offended at Jon's question.

"Just asking, bro. Had to make sure. So you never even thought about it? I mean, you two were pretty close back then."

"We still are pretty close, but she's like my little sister, Jon." Rob said.

"Alright. I believe you, man." Jon smiled, "So tell me what you know about this fiance of hers."

Rob sighed, "He's a doctor."

"Shit."

"What are you saying shit for man? You make way more than he does." Rob pointed out.

"Its not the money. Allie doesn't care about money. He's noble...you know, a do-gooder." Jon said. "Is he good to her?"

Rob shrugged, "Yeah. I mean, he's kind of dense. Doesn't really get the "real Allie"."

"How so?"

"Well, he knows she loves wrestling, but he's never even been to a show with her."

"That's not exactly a cause for alarm. Hardcore wrestling isn't for everyone." Jon told him.

Hardcore wrestling wasn't for everyone, and niether was Allie.

It was a little after six, and Allie was applying her makeup. She was getting ready to head over to the show when her doorbell rang. She finished swiping her mascara across her lashes and went to answer the door. She picked up her purse along the way. Whoever it was would have to talk outside, she was in a hurry.

She opened the door, stepping outside at the same time. She collided with a solid, solid warm body, and there was no mistaking who it was. The man that had played a starring role in her dreams earlier that day. Allie instantly blushed.

"Jon, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I came to take you to the show." He pointed towards his rental car. A 2013 black Mustang GT. Mustangs were Allie's favorite car. He knew this, and he always chose them if they were available.

She almost delcined his offer, but her eyes fell over the gorgeous body of that car, and the gorgeous body of its driver, and there was no way she could refuse. He guided her to the passenger seat, his hand on the small of her back burning through the thin fabric of her long sleeved white t-shirt.

He slipped down into the seat beside her, and they were off. Thankfully it was only about a fifteen minute drive.

"This, is a gorgeous car, Jon." she smiled.

"Its just a rental, but at home I have sort of a small collection." he grinned, hoping she would take the bait.

"Collection of cars?"

"Of mustangs." he smirked.

"Oh my God, really? I'd love to see them!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.

The car grew silent. "Why do you do that, Jon?" she asked.

"What?"

"Tease me." she pointed out flatly.

"You used to love my teasing, Allie." he told her, and she blushed because they both knew what he was talking about.

"No, I loved what happened _after_ the teasing."

Allie turned the radio up loud after that. She didn't feel like talking to Jon right now. He was making her flustered. Mostly because she was feeling things she didn't want to feel. Things she thought she was over, things that weren't fair to Mark.

They filed in the arena, front row.

"I haven't been to a show like this in years." Jon beamed.

"You excited?" Allie asked.

"Hell yeah." Jon smiled, and her heart melted.

"Who is he fighting? Jon asked.

"Not sure. I haven't seen Rob in months. He's been traveling with the company. Its so lucky you two wound up back in town at the same time." she said.

Soon, the show started and Jon and Allie didn't talk much. No, they didn't speak, but the looks they shared said volumes. He would look at how she was beaming while watching the matches. Allie had always been passionate albout wrestling since they got together.

Suddenly blood was drawn, and Mox automatixally thought back to the first time he saw Allie, when he'd rested his bloody hand on her bare leg at a show just like this.

Allie and Jon would glance at eachother and smile, both happily in their element.

"You're itching to get in there, aren't you?" she asked in his ear, indicating the ring. Her breath hot, and minty making his heart pound, and that damned thing in his pants throb.

"You know me so well," he replied. He _was_ itching to get in the ring, but his contract kept him from doing that so he'd just watch from the sidelines. Rob was on fire, and Jon thought back to all the heated matches they had shared. Rob wound up winning the match, and Allie came out of her seat cheering for him. Jon was a little jealous, remembering when she'd done that for him.

Jon's heart filled with love, and he hated himself for it as he watched her.

Leaving the arena took longer than expected. Jon had to stop for several autographs, and pose for pictures. Allie stood back and watched him. He was smiling, well smirking, on the outside but Allie knew he must hate this part of the job. Jon was so private, and he didn't like to be touched.

Finally, after the crowd had dispersed Rob joined them, and they all headed over to the diner for coffee. The conversation flowed so freely. It was like they three of them had never been apart, and Allie realized she would have to at least introduce Jon to Mark.

Now that Jon was back in her life, it didn't seem like he'd be going anywhere any time soon.

On the drive back to her house, she wished that the night never had to end. She had so much fun. More fun than she had had in a long time. Jon knew he was grasping at straw, but he had to try. He wanted to be alone with Allie, _alone_.

"Hey, you wanna maybe come up to the house? For a little bit?" he asked.

"Jon, I can't. I'm sorry, I'd love to...but..."

"You got a guy." Jon said dryly.

"Yeah..."

"Well, you should see the place. I hired someone to take care of the outside, and they planted an assload of rose bushes. I thought it would be girly, but they take care of themselves, and it kinda reminds me of my grandma."

"I know." she said.

"You know what?"

She clamped a hand over her mouth._ Oops._

"I know about the roses."

"How?" he asked while raising an eyebrow at her, both hands on the wheel.

"I go up there sometimes. I hope that's okay...I mean-"

"Why do you go up there?" he asked. He felt the sudden need for a cigarette, "Hold the wheel." he told her as he fished around in the center console for the unopened pack, and then searched his pants for his lighter.

When the cigarette was lit he turned back to her, "So?"

"I don't know, Jon. Sometimes I just...miss you. Or I miss those days, and I just...go there." she admitted.

"Do you ever go inside?" he asked.

"No. Well, when I first got back, three years ago I did. You had only been gone a couple months, and I went inside."

Jon considered this information while taking a satisfying drag, and blowing the smoke out the crack in the window. "What did you do? Just hang out, watch some tv? Like, what the hell Allie? Why would you go into my home?" His voice was accusitory, and she didn't like his angry tone.

"I fell asleep on your bed." she said quietly. They pulled into her driveway, and she saw Mark's car was there. She cringed, but turned to Jon, she needed to say this.

"Jon, if you think that I wasn't hurting too, or that it was all rainbows and fucking sunshine for me, then you're a dumbass. I missed you! I mourned for us, what we lost because I couldn't get it together! It hurt me like hell! So, if you think you're the only only who was devastated, then go to hell, Jon!" she cried.

She moved to get out, but he caught her wrist, "You kiss your fiance with that mouth?" he smirked, but there was a seriousness in his eyes.

She jerked her arm free and got out, "Fuck you, Jon!" she spat before she slammed the car door and stormed inside.

God, she made him so mad! He backed out of her driveway, squealing tires as he sped away. Inside the house, Allie cringed as she heard him drive away. Mark came over to her where she was standing, back leaned up against the door.

"Where have you been?" he asked angirly.

Oh how she did not have time for this right now.

"I told you where I was going. I went to Rob's show. I invited you..." she said as she took off her jacket and threw it over the couch. She kicked off her Toms and went into the bathroom. Mark followed her inside the small room.

"Well, I got here and your car was here and so was your cell phone. I was worried." his voice softened.

Allie hadn't even realized she left her cell phone, she was having such a good time with Jon. Then he had to turn into a dick.

"I'm sorry. I rode with a friend. I must have forgotten my phone." she reached up to cup his cheek, and noticed some stubble scratching against her palm, "Please shave." she said.

He reached forward to rub his jaw, "I will, I just haven't had a chance. You seem like you're in a bad mood. Did Rod lose or something?"

"Its _Rob_, Mark. And no, he won. I'm just tired." she said, "And I have to pee, so could you go please?"

He looked at her curiously, "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow or something, okay?" He kissed her lips, and Allie felt like crying. She loved this man, but she couldn't lie to herself and say she didn't love Jon too. There was so much history between them. He was the only man she'd ever slept with, and the thought of giving herself away to another man like that almost felt wrong.

Although, she knew she wasn't Jon's first, and she knew he'd slept with his fair share of girls after her, probably.

She was so confused.


	5. Crossing The Line

**Chapter 5**

Allie took a sleeping pill to make herself fall asleep that night.

Jon lay wide awake in his bed imagining Allie laying across his bed. His thoughts then turned to all the nights they had laid there together. A sweaty mess after sex, or cuddled up together with the fireplace going.

He was thinking about her body. Her perfect body. She never really thought she was beautiful, but he had no idea why. She was the sexiest woman he'd ever had the pleasure of seeing. Her hair, was always thick, and dark, and he just loved the way it would fall in his face, or brush against his shoulder.

Her eyes, those stormy gray eyes he'd never seen on another person. So mysterious, and vulnerable. The way she sounded when they were laughing together, or when they were making love. She never really moaned, unless it was his name. She wasn't loud, and obnoxious like some girls. She only make slight, girly little sighs every now and then, and sometimes a gasp of surprise when he'd hit just the right spot.

Before Jon knew what was happening, his hand was wrapped around his cock. He withdrew his hand from his shorts and rolled over onto his side. He refused to jerk off to thoughts of Allie. No, he'd rather have the real thing.

He got up, and took a cold shower before heading to bed.

The next day Jon was going out of his mind with boredom. He was driving around town, and saw the Girl's Haven center. It was a nice, newer building and he knew it was where Allie worked. After their fight last night he felt like he needed to apologize. He'd been a bit harsh, and short with her. Honestly, he hadn't really given much thought to her pain, or the fact that she was missing him at all.

She had certainly put him in his place. There weren't many people that could do that.

He went to the diner, and got her a hot chocolate. She used to love hot chocolate, he remembered. Then he drove back to her work, and walked in. The place was nice. It was relatively empty except for a few people walking around who Jon assumed were probably staff members.

A Hispanic woman stopped him, "Can I help you, sir?"

"Yeah, I'm looking for Allie?" he said.

"Allie?"

"Allison Hamilton." he clarified.

"Oh, Miss Hamilton. She's down the hall just there, second door on the left." she smiled up at him.

"Thanks." he muttered before continuing down the hall.

He peeked inside the room. Allie was sitting in a chair, wearing a long white skirt. Her legs were crossed and her lime green heels were visible. Her shirt was a long sleeved darker green than her heels, and she was wearing a white vest over it. The green was setting off the color of her eyes and hair, and making Jon's mouth water.

He almost barged in the room, but stopped when he realized what she was doing. She was holding a picture book in her hands, and on the floor were about ten children. She was reading to them. He watched her, and waited until the story was over.

She sent the children on their way through an adjoining door, and sat down at her desk. He knocked on the doorjam and she looked up.

"Can I come in, or am I in exile?" he quipped.

"You can come in." she said.

He sat the hot beverage down in front of her. "For you."

She smiled, while looking down and trying to hide it. "Thanks." She managed to get her crazy grin under control, and looked up.

"Sorry, about...ya know?" he said.

"An apology from Mox. I'm honored." she joked.

"Listen, Allie..."

"I don't want to go over the past, Jon." she cut him off.

Just then, Mark came sauntering into her office. Allie bit her lip as Mark eyed Jon.

"Babe." he greeted her.

Jon's blood was boling at another man talking to Allie that way.

"Who's this?" Mark asked, turning to Jon.

Allie hesitated for a split second before making the introductions, "Mark, this is Jon. Jon, this is Mark."

Mark stuck out his hand.

"Mark, Jon is an old friend of mine who is in town for a couple of days and was looking to catch up." Allie tried to explain Jon's casual presence in her office.

Jon accepted Mark's handshake, "You must be the fiance I've been hearing so damn much about." Jon smirked.

"That's me." Mark grinned.

Just then, Jon and Allie both noticed Mark was holding a bouquet of roses. "For you." he handed them to Allie.

"Thank you, honey." she said with a sweet smile, and Jon was hating himself, and her because he couldn't discern whether is was genuine or not.

Suddenly Mark's phone rang, and he answered. "Okay, yes. I'll be right there." He hung up, "That was the hospital, they need me to come in." he leaned forward and kissed Allie on the lips, and Jon clenched his fists at his sides.

They said their goodbyes, and once again Jon and Allie were left alone in her office. Jon eyed the cup of hot chocolate he'd brought her sitting next to the bouquet of flowers.

"Looks like I'll have to step up my game if I wanna keep up with my competition." he joked as he leaned a hip against her desk.

"Jon, there's no competition. Mark already has me. I'm engaged."

"No." he leaned forward, his lips brushing her ear sending goosebumps all over her body, and making heat pool low in her belly, "I'm not giving up. I still love you."

"Jon, don't, please." she said, but it was halfhearted. She _wanted_ to hear those words.

Their faces were just an inch apart, and he was staring into her eyes. She wasn't sure who initiated it, but all of a sudden their lips were touching. He bit her bottom lip, asking for access to her mouth, and she granted it because she couldn't tell Jon no...she didn't want to tell him no.

His tongue plunged into her mouth, and smoothed over her own. She sighed, and his hands roamed over her back, and up to grip her shoulders, pulling her closer. They were as close as possible, their torsos and hips grinding against eachother shamelessly.

She could feel his erection pressing against her belly, and it snapped her from the spell she was reluctantly pulled her lips away from him, and rested her head on his shoulder. Tears sliding from the corners of her eyes and they both caught their breath.

"I can't do this, Jon." she mumbled against him.

"And I can't live without you again." he said, "I'm fooling myself by pretending that seeing you with that guy isn't just fucking killing me."

"I'm sorry, Jon. That's just the way it is. I've moved on, and I'm getting married, and I have to-"

"Shut the hell up, Allie! You don't have to do anything you don't want to do! Just break up with that jerk and be with me!"

"He isn't a jerk, Jon. Please, just go."

"No." he stood firm, but he didn't expect Allie to shove him, and hard.

"I said _get out_ Jon!"

He didn't move, but dammit she made him angry by pushing him. He reached out to grab her wrist and without thinking she smacked his face, and hard. So hard his first instinct was to hit back, but he caught himself before he raised his hand to her.

He stumbled backwards and looked at her, shock written all over his face before he turned to leave without a word. Allie collapsed into her office chair and buried her head in her hands. What had she just done? Kissed Jon! And didn't want to stop. Why did he have to mess with her head so much?

Later that day Mark called and invited her over for dinner. He suggested that she invite Jon, and Allie lied and said he had plans. She sat through dinner and listened to Mark talk about the hospital, and then they moved on to talk about the wedding.

"I was thinking maybe a Christmas wedding." Mark said.

Allie stuttered, "Christmas? But that's so soon..." Suddenly cold fear washed over Allie at the thought of getting married so soon. Having to expose her secrets...expose her body, her self...

"Yes, but it's perfect, don't you think?" he asked, smiling.

"I don't know, I'll have to think about it." she said as she looked down at her food.

"Well, okay. Give it some thought. Just don't take too long. If we decide on Christmas we'll need to start planning right away and getting everything in order." he said.

She shook her head silently. They went through the rest of dinner with Allie pretending to pay attention. She wanted to leave, and soon after dinner she faked a migrane so she could leave. She didn't know why, but she was speeding. 70 in a 35. _Speeding_. And she didn't even know where she was going.

She felt like running, like screaming, like going crazy because she hated herself. All of a sudden, Mark meant nothing. He felt like a replacement for Jon, and now that Jon was in her life again she felt like she didn't need Mark...it was so wrong.

Her body was humming, absolutely humming as she remembered their shared kiss in her office earlier that day. All she wanted was to be held in his arms again, and feel safe. Feel open, and feel like she didn't have to hide anything.

She found herself speeding up the dark lane to Jon's house. The headlights of her car, flashing off the wall in the living room, drawing Jon from his thoughts. He muted the television, and walked to the front door, throwing it open just as Allie emerged from the car and walked towards him with a purpose.

He knew there would only be one reason for her being here this late. She kept walking towards him, and he stepped forward to meet her and picked her up in his arms, throwing her legs around his waist and supporting her weight.

Their lips met without a single word, and he carried her inside the house, kicking the door closed behind them.

_**Uh Oh...**_

_**Will she go through with this? Or will she change her mind and leave Jon hanging?**_


	6. Rediscovering You

**Chapter 6**

Jon carried Allie inside, straight to his bedroom. He sat her down on the bed, and backed up a few steps so he could look her over. She was still wearing the same clothes from earlier in the day, except she'd exchanged the white skirt for jeans. He wiped his mouth, and looked at her with his head tilted slightly.

She was breathing heavy, and there was a longing in her eyes.

"Why are you here, Allie?" he asked as he stepped dangerously toward her.

"I don't know..." she answered honestly.

"Marky Mark not satisfying your needs?" he trailed a finger down her cheek, and she closed her eyes. He was teasing her, goading her, and maybe even trying to humiliate her, but she knew the one thing he wouldn't do was refuse her.

"Jon, don't."

He kneeled down in front of her where she sat, "No, I want to hear you say it. Say he doesn't give you what you need."

"We don't. I mean, I've never slept with Mark." she admitted.

Jon laughed, but looked in her eyes, and could see she was being honest. "Why?" he asked.

"I've never been with anyone but you." she whispered, her eyes baring into his.

That wasn't an answer, and yet it was all the answer he needed. Thrilled, and aroused beyond measure at the fact that no other man had ever touched her besides him, he slid his hands up to her hips, and squeezed.

"Lay back." he told her, and she obeyed.

He stood at the end of the bed, and undressed. He left on his boxer briefs, and Allie could see the outline of his semi hard cock through the black material. He leaned forward and his nimble fingers went to the button of her jeans. He began pulling them down until she was completely rid of them and he tossed them in the corner.

He trailed his nose up her leg, lingering on the darker scars, planting kisses on them, and licking his way up to her hips. She was panting, and trying to control her tears, but it was no use. She couldn't stop the outpouring of emotion.

Jon pulled down her panties, and tossed them away. He immediately placed his head between her legs, and pressed his tongue against her. She tasted exactly like he remembered. Of all the times he'd slept with other girls, he'd never done this to anyone but Allie. Whenever a girl asked, or tried to guide him to taste her, he would refuse.

This was only for Allie.

Her hands went to the back of his head, subconciously pulling him closer. He growled at her eagerness. He easily slipped a long finger into her. God, she was tight, and hot, and wet, and _his. _He groaned when he imagined his cock being inside her again.

He could feel her start to shudder under him, and pulled his finger out, and raised his head. No, he wanted to feel her when she came. Be inside her, and feel her sweet release. He slid his hands over her belly, and up under her shirt. Soon, she was rid of all of her clothing, and he stood, slipping off his underwear and tossing them aside.

Allie gasped when she saw Jon standing before her. How many times had she seen this very thing? How many times had she imagined it? Dreamed of it? Wished for just _one more time_ with him.

He raised himself over her, supporting his weight on the palms of his hands on either side of her shoulders. His hardness was resting between her legs, pressing against her slightly, and driving her crazy.

"Jon," she pleaded.

"Tell me you want me inside you."

"I want you!" she said desperately. She hated the way she sounded, so wanton and pleading, but she couldn't help it. He took a moment to admire her body. His gaze wandering over her scars. "You're so beautiful, Allie." he traced one of the scars on her forearm, "Every single inch of you."

He brought her arm up to his lips and gently licked at the dark purple scar, and she moaned his name. His bit down lightly on the sensitve flesh.

"Jon!"

"Patience, baby." he smirked down at her, but she had begun to arch herself up into him, and he lost track of whatever else he was going to say. He was done waiting.

He guided himself into her, slowly. Her muscles clamping down on his cock making it near impossible to slide in despite her wetness as he pushed inch by inch.

"God, Allie." he breathed out as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"What's wrong?" she asked as her brow furrowed with worry.

He smiled, teeth shining down at her, "You're so tight. Its unreal." he threw his head back as he grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the bed and entered her the rest of the way in one swift thrust.

She gasped and bit her lip.

"Sorry," he said, "But I couldn't take it anymore."

She bucked her hips up into him, and he pressed a large palm on her belly, "Wait a damn second, girl."

She whined slightly but laid still as Jon got used to the feeling of her again. He stared down at her, and ran his fingertips along her scarred arms. He brought them up to her jawline and she quivered at his gentle touching. He placed his fingertips against her lips and she drew them in her mouth, sucking lightly causing him to groan with lust.

It was then that he started moving slowly at first, pumping himself in and out of her as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"You feel amazing, baby." he whispered in her ear.

"So...do..you..." she panted out.

They moved together, just like always. It was like they never missed a beat. Allie ran her hands down Jon's sides, and her fingertips touched something soft, but raised. She fingered it for a few more moments before realizing what it was. The scar from where Arnold had stabbed him that night. Jon's voice sounded deep in her ear, "You're not the only one who walked away with scars."

He bent his head down to nuzzle one of her breasts and lick at the erect bud of her nipple. The pink such a contrast to her pale white skin. She began to sweat as Jon continued to move in and out of her, and was powerless to stop the first orgasm from overtaking her body.

"That's it, baby. Let go, let me make you feel good." he told her, and she did. The explosion inside her causing her to tense, and writhe under him. "Tell me how good it feels." he whispered as he licked the shell of her ear.

"So, good, Jon...so good."

It was then he sat up on his knees, spreading her legs wider to make himself comfortable as he picked up his pace. He reached down to grab onto her hips, slamming into her.

"Tell me that you want me, Allie."

"I want you." she said breathlessly while staring up at him.

He snapped his hips against her time after time, causing her belly to tighten in the tell tale signs of another approaching orgasm.

"Jon, I'm gonna..."

"Yes, you are. Tell me you're mine." she bucked up into him as her answer, and he gripped her hips tigher, "No, _say it,_ Allison." he demanded.

"I'm yours!" she said loudly.

"Yes, you're mine. You've always been mine. You'll never belong to anyone else!"

His movements became rigid, and Allie let herself fall over the edge of bliss one final time, her ending drawing Jon's from his aching cock and he thrust into her a few more times. He collapsed on top of her, but supported most of his weight on his elbows.

He pressed his lips to her forehead, and her nose, and then to her lips reverently as she lay under him catching her breath. A bead of sweat dripped from his brow onto her neck.

"Now, tell me you still love me." he said quietly.

"I still love you."

_**Oh what a tangled web we weave, and by "WE" I mean Jon and Allie...tsk tsk.**_


	7. Two Kinds Of Love

_**Guys, go listen to Jon and Allie's song. Its 'A Different Kind Of Pain' by Cold. **_

_**Its such a deep, sad song! Totally right for Jon and Allie right now in their relationship.**_

**Chapter 7**

"Stay, Allie." Jon pleaded with her as she moved to get out of the bed. It was going on seven am. "I know you don't have to go into work...just stay with me."

"I can't." she said simply as she pulled the sheet off the bed, covering her body with it.

As she stood up, the sheet dipped down low, showing her entire back. Jon noticed something he never noticed before. Something he was sure hadn't always been there. He caught a glimpse of black ink on her left shoulder blade.

A tattoo, not very big, about three inches of beautiful script. He couldn't read what it said because she quickly turned around to face him, searching for her clothing.

"What's that on your back?" he asked.

"What?" she asked.

"Do you have a tattoo?" he asked as he sat up and pulled his underwear on, walking over to her and jerking the sheet off her body. Leaving her completely nude in the center of the room as he circled her.

He walked around, rubbing his hand over the word inked on her skin.

_Mox_.

He smiled, and spun her around.

"Sometimes I forget it's back there." she said quietly.

"When did you get that?" he asked.

"Two weeks after I left."

"Why did you get it?"

"I don't know. I was just missing you so much, and...I don't know." she admitted.

"Well, I like it." he kissed her lips.

She smiled, "Really?"

"It's fucking sexy as hell, Allie. My name tattooed on your body."

He leaned their foreheads together, "Like I said, you're mine."

She leaned in to his arms, taking comfort once again in his strong arms. "Jon, I can't stay and you know it. I have to go."

"Allie stop. Why are you doing this? Its so simple, just _be _with _me_!"

"I _can't_!" she yelled as she broke free of his grasp.

"Why?"

"Because, I don't even know why I came here. It was a mistake. I made a promise to Mark." she was pulling her clothes on quickly and without paying attention.

"And you just broke that promise by coming here and fucking me!"

She finished dressing and walked to the front door, Jon grabbed her wrist and stopped her from walking out the door, but she once again jerked herself free. He grabbed her by the shoulders, standing out on the porch.

"Do you still love me?" he asked.

"I don't know."

"No. No. NO! Don't fucking say that! You can't tell me that you love me, and want me when we're in bed together, and then turn it all around when you've got what you want, Allie!"

"That's not what I'm doing, Jon. There's just so much to think about, and I'm confused. I don't understand why I still feel this way about you, but I can't help it! I can't _fucking_ stop myself from wanting you, Jonathan!"

They both stood silently for a moment, just staring at eachother. Trying to figure one another out.

"I'm gonna go." she walked off the porch and reached her car before he called out to her.

"Allie?"

"What, Jon?"

"You're wearing my shirt."

She looked down. Sure enough, she had pulled Jon's t-shirt on instead of her own. She couldn't even remember getting dressed a few minutes ago, she was so flustered.

"Dammit!" she yelled before getting in her car and speeding off.

Jon was pissed, incredibly so, but it was lessened by the fact that she'd just came to him freely, and they'd slept together. The fact that no other man had touched her, the fact that she had his name forever inked on her skin, and the fact that she just left wearing his shirt.

He was confident that he would win, but then again, Allie had always been a mystery to him. Mysteries could be unpredicable, and in a few days he would be back on the road which meant he would more than likely lose Allie forever. He couldn't stomach finding her, and losing her again.

Allie called Mark on the way home, she needed to hear his voice. She knew she had to tell him about Jon...it was going to hurt both of them, but it had to be done now. He agreed to come over later. Allie stripped herself of her clothing and left a trail leading to the shower.

She let the water wash away the evidence of her night with Jon. She cried, sobbed into the shower wall. How had she let things go so far? It was Jon's fault. He had this undeniable effect on her that no other person did.

His hold on her was so strong, and he had no idea just how much. Last night with Jon had been so amazing. Letting herself be so open and exposed with another person felt wonderful. And she could, with Jon she could be completely open about who she was, and her past.

Would she ever be able to do that with Mark? There was only one way to find out. She would have to be honest with him about her past. About her scars. And about Jon.

She walked out of the shower, wearing a pair of navy blue sweats, and a tank top with her hair up in a towel. She wasn't expecting anyone to be there, but Mark was. He was sitting at the bar in the kitchen. Holding Jon's t-shirt in his hands.

Her first instinct was to run and put on a sweater so he wouldn't be able to catch a glimpse at her scars, but he spoke up first.

"Whose shirt is this? And don't tell me it belongs to you because I've never seen it before." he said while tossing it on the floor at her feet.

Her mind worked trying desperately to think of a lie.

"It's Rob's." she swallowed, "He let me borrow it a couple weeks ago, and I forgot it in my car. I brought it in to wash it and give it back since he's in town." she lied straight through her teeth like it was second nature.

Mark considered this, "Rob, hmm? Is this why you've been acting so strange lately? Because _Rob_ is back in town? Is there something going on between the two of you that maybe you want to tell me?" he asked.

"What? No, he's like my older brother Mark. I've known him since I was seventeen." she rolled her eyes and picked Jon's t-shirt up off the floor.

"Why did you have a need for his clothing in the first place?

"A fan spilled beer all over me at the Arena that night whenever it was...Listen, I wanted you to come by because I have something I need to tell you." she said.

"You've decided on a Christmas wedding? I just knew it! That's amazing, Allie."

"Mark, actually that isn't-"

"I'm going to call and see if we can secure the Baker Hall for the ceremony."

And with that he stepped outside, cell phone in hand. "What the hell?" she whispered. What had just happened? She was completely ready to tell Mark everything, and now she didn't want him knowing at all. She went to her bedroom and put on a long sleeved shirt, and went out on the porch to join him.

"Mark." she touched his shoulder.

He held up a finger signaling for her to wait, but she was having none of that. She grabbed the phone out of his hand and disconnected the call.

"Allie!"

"Mark, I wanted to talk to you about something important, and it wasn't the wedding." she said.

Suddenly, his phone rang again, and she took it out of her hands to answer it. It was the hospital asking for him to come in, and he agreed.

"Mark, we were having a conversation!" Allie fumed.

"I'm sorry, it will have to wait." he said as he got in his car and drove away.

Jon was watching from the curb, and when Mark was gone he got out and walked over to her where she stood in the driveway.

"He's gonna be on the phone your whole life." he told her.

"And you would be on the road. At least he'd be home every night." she retorted.

"Since when has my being on the road been a problem?" he spat at her.

"That's one of the main reasons I left. I left you before you could leave me! I knew that in a few weeks you would have left for Florida, and I would be alone to deal with the pain. I couldn't stand the thought, so I walked away first!" she said.

"Whatever, you're such a goddamn liar, Allie. That's not why you left. And you don't have a single fucking issue with me traveling. You're just looking for excuses, and frankly you're bad at it, babe."

Her shoulders slumped in defeat. Why did he have to know her so well?

"You know what. I just came to tell you Rob's coming over tonight, and he wanted me to invite you so we could all hang together again before I hit the road." he said.

Allie grimaced. The thought of Jon leaving again hadn't really occured to her before now. The fact that they didn't have forever to work through their issues made her stomach turn upside down. Would she let him walk out of her life again?

"When are you leaving?" she asked.

"Tuesday."

Five more days. The deadline hit her like a ton of bricks.

"I'll think about coming tonight." she said before he walked back to his car, and sped off.

She was so confused. She made a list of pros and cons in her head, but that was no help. So she called the one man in her life who she had found she could always rely on. The one guy who had been there for her when she couldn't turn to anyone else.

Rob.

They met at the park, and sat on a bench by the pond. Rob was wearing a red fleece jacket that he had zipped up most of the way. He draped his arm around her, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I did a bad, bad, bad, _BAD_ thing, Robbie."

"I think I already know what it was, but go ahead and say it."

"I slept with Mox."

Rob sighed, "I figured. Now what?"

"I have no idea. It would be so easy to forget it ever happened, but then again it would tear me up inside to lose him again. Especially when there's no reason for it." she sighed, and leaned against him. He squeezed her shoulder.

"Allie, Moxley is a good friend of mine, and has been for a long time. Do you want my honest opinion?"

"Yes."

"Everyone has that one person who they never get over. That person who...no matter what will always be in your heart. Moxley is that person for you, right?"

"Yeah..."

"And I know you're that person for him. But, reason number one, its because you're made for each other and universe isn't going to take no for an answer, and you'll just keep getting pushed together time after time until you finally give up and stay together."

"What's reason number two?" she asked.

"Your love wasn't meant to last forever, and its supposed to be something you learn from and helps you love the real person you're supposed to be with better."

Allie considered this.

"Now, which one is Mox to you?" he asked.

Allie sighed. She didn't really know. Especially not right now because she couldn't even think straight. She needed to change the subject.

"I'll think about what you said, about Jon."

"This is your way of turning the conversation around, isn't it?" he laughed at her.

"You know me so well." she smiled, "So," she turned to face him, "Today Mark asked me if I was cheating on him with you."

"Um, why?" Rob was taken aback.

"Long story, but isn't that weird."

"Yeah," he laughed, "You're like my sister." He gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Have I ever told you thank you?" she asked suddenly serious.

"For what?"

"When I came back, I was trying to hold it together. I was wound so tight, I was a ticking time bomb. Until I ran into that day. You kept my secret from Jon, and I know that wasn't easy on your friendship. It was actually a pretty shitty thing to ask of you, but you stayed true to me. You practically saved my life that night when I started cutting, and you saved me again when I came back by drawing me out of my depression and giving me a shoulder."

"Aw, shit Allie. You're gonna make me cry." he said as he pulled her in for a hug. "I'd do it all again, too. I love you, and I'd do anything for you. I hope you know that."

"I love you too, and yeah, I know."

Allie drove home, a lot happier than when she left. She thought about Rob's words. Two kinds of love...

Jon's love wasn't helping her learn to love Mark better...it was tearing it apart. Did that mean that their love was the first? The destiny kind? The kind that drives you crazy until you give into it?


	8. Decisions

**Chapter 8**

Allie didn't go to Jon's to have dinner with he and Rob. She couldn't stand to see Mox after what had happened between them. She was ridden with guilt, and it was eating her up. She felt ashamed that she let her emotions lead her to betray the man she loved.

And although she loved Jon so much, it still didn't justify breaking her promise to Mark in the way she had by sleeping with another man.

Another day came and went, and it was just one day closer to Jon leaving again. And apparently to a Christmas wedding, according to Mark who didn't get the message that she didn't want to get married in two months.

Allie sat at her kitchen table and stared at her engagement ring on her finger. Mark would be over any minute. They were supposed to be going to dinner, and Allie hoped tonight wouldn't be a night filled with wedding talk.

She wanted to finally open up to him about her past, if he let her. She hadn't seen Jon in twenty four hours, and she was having minor withdrawls. She needed something to take her mind off of him, and she hoped this night out with Mark would do the trick.

They got to the restaurant, and were seated. They hadn't even ordered their food yet when she heard a familiar voice calling her name. She looked up to see Rob's face.

"Hey." she smiled, "What are you doing here?"

Just then, Jon walked in behind him. "Just having some dinner and beers with Mox." he nodded behind him.

"Hey everybody." Jon said.

Everyone was very polite, but Allie was sure the tension in the air wasn't missed by Mark. He wasn't an idiot. She only hoped he didn't realize _why_ there was tension. Rob and Jon went to their table, and left the couple alone. That didn't stop Jon from staring holes in the back of Allie's head whenever Mark wasn't looking.

She looked amazing, and he started thinking about her tattoo. He turned to Rob, "Did you know Allie has my name tattooed on her shoulder?"

Rob didn't even look up from the menu, "Yep." He drew out the syllable.

Jon sat for a few moments longer before he realized that Rob had actually told him yes...and that would mean he had seen her bare shoulder. Problem.

"How did you know? Have you seen it?" Jon asked, his grip tightening on his bottle of beer.

Rob looked up at the tone in Jon's voice.

"No. She told me about it a while back. Good God man, relax. Shit Mox." Rob took a long drink of his beer, "You're losing your mind. I already told you I would never go there with her! Don't you fucking trust me?"

"Yes, I fucking trust you Rob." Mox said while fishing around in his pockets for his cigarettes, "I'll be back, gotta smoke."

Allie watched as Jon walked past their table without a word, and went outside. Mark stared at her as her eyes followed Jon's form outside. He got the feeling there was something he was missing.

He told Allie he had to get something from the car, and went to join Jon outside.

"Sup." Jon said casually as Mark came to stand awkwardly beside him.

Jon got the feeling this guy didn't smoke, and frankly he was already beginning to irritate him by invading his space.

"Something I can help you with?" Jon asked as sweetly as possible.

In his head Jon was screaming, _I just fucked the girl you think is yours, because she's really mine!_

"No. I was just wondering how you and Allie knew eachother." he asked, slipping his hands in his gray slacks.

Jon took a drag off his cigarette, "We met when she was seventeen."

"And how old were you?" Mark asked bravely.

"24. Not that it's any of your business." Jon said while puffing away on his cigarette.

Mark nodded like he fucking knew their story already, and that pissed Jon off beyond belief because nobody knows everything he and Allie have been through. No one. Especially not this tool, Mark.

"Where did you guys meet?" the fiance/tool/doctor/guy in the way asked.

"At a wrestling event." Jon said.

"Oh, are you a wrestling fan as well?" There was a hint of disapproval in Mark's voice.

Jon laughed, "You really don't like wrestling do you?"

Mark shook his head, "Not my thing."

"Well, yeah, I'm a wrestling fan. But I'm also a professional wrestler. I was working the night Allie and me met."

Mark eyed him seriously, wanting him to elaborate in the night in question further. When he didn't Mark changed the subject.

"So, you're a pro wrestler, huh?"

"Yep. I work for the WWE. Ya know, John Cena, The Rock..."

"Oh, yeah. Okay." Mark said shaking his head, "So I guess you travel a lot."

Jon took a step in his direction, towering over him "Are you trying to ask me something, Mark?" He dropped his cigarette to the ground.

Mark swallowed, "Yes actually, I'd like it if you'd give Allie and I some privacy over the next few days. We're trying to get everything ready for our wedding in December, and I think you're distracting her." He swallowed again.

"You mean because she can't take her eyes off of me?" Jon smirked.

Mark to his credit, stared Jon down as Jon took a step towards him, daring him to do or say anything out of line.

"Everything okay here, guys?" Rob poked his head out the door.

"Everything's fine." Jon said as he patted Mark on the back and walked back inside.

Allie sent death stares Jon's way as he passed by her on the way back to his table. Dinner was almost unbearable as Allie pushed the food around on her plate absentmindedly, and Mark tried to regulate his breathing.

They left the restaraunt before Rob and Jon, and Allie waved over her shoulder to the boys, but mostly to Rob because she was ready to rip Jon apart. Whatever had happened outside between them had Mark upset.

On the ride home Allie stared out the window until Mark's shrill voice cut through the silence. He offered up the same line of questioning he gave Jon earlier, only he wasn't afraid of Allie like he was Jon, so his tone was a lot more harsh.

"So how do you and Jon know each other?" he asked as his fingers gripped the steering wheel.

"Well, we met at a wrestling show when I was seventeen. He was wrestling, and one night I was stranded and he gave me a ride home when it was over."

It wasn't really a lie...

"Was he your boyfriend?" Mark asked.

Allie's mind flashed from their first kiss, to Jon laying beside her in the hospital bed, to the first time they'd made love, and to holding his limp body in her arms moments after he'd been stabbed.

"Yes, he was." she answered. Her boyfriend, and so much more...

"So what happened between the two of you, because whatever it was doesn't really seem to be over."

"It is over." she said.

"Well, what happened?" he asked again.

Allie sighed, she didn't want to go over this right now. She decided to go with the least complicated version. "He moved away to Floirda for work, and I couldn't go with him. So we broke up. I haven't seen him since."

The car was silent again until they pulled in her driveway, "Why is he here now, Allie?"

"I don't know, Mark." she whispered.

"Did you love him?"

"Yes, I did." she answered honestly.

Mark sighed, and Allie spoke up finally. "Mark, I don't want to have a Christmas wedding."

"What? Why?"

"I just want to wait a while." she shrugged.

This didn't make him happy, and it had spiraled into another fight, with Allie just getting out and leaving him ranting in the car. She looked out the window a few minutes later and he was gone.

She knew sleeping with Jon was a mistake. She shouldn't gave caved to her feelings. She loved Mark, and he deserved her best. Soon Jon would be gone and her feelings for him would change.

_Its been three years, Allie, and they still haven't faded or changed._

The voice inside her head pointed out loudly. She loved Mark, but she...ached for Jon in a way that went beyond physical, emotional...

She'd really dug herself in deep.

Jon slammed the door of Rob's truck and stormed inside his house. Rob shut off the engine and followed him inside.

"You want to tell me what _the fuck_ was going on eariler?" Rob asked as Jon threw his jacket across the room, and stood with his hands on his hips.

"I'm losing her, man. I'm gonna fucking lose her to that douchebag, and there's nothing I can do."

Rob didn't know what to say, just stood in the middle of the room, across from Mox, biting his bottom lip.

"And you know what's just fucking killing me inside? She comes here with my name tattoed on her body, to fucking sleep with me, and tells me she's never even fucked this guy, Mark!"

Rob looked up in surprise.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No! I'm being serious. I know she loves me! I know she wants me! It isn't over between us and she knows it, but she's so damn stubborn and noble she'll ignore what she wants and marry that guy just to fucking spite me! I know she will! I know I'm gonna lose her again, man! I just know it. I can feel her slipping away...I can't do it again. I can't be...without her." Jon slumped onto the floor and pulled at his hair.

Rob walked over and put a hand on his friend's shoulder. Jon began to cry, tears slipping from his eyes as he reality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks. He knew he'd lost her the moment she stared right through him tonight. The moment she looked more angry and annoyed than turned on...he knew.

"Man, if you want her you gotta fight for her. She has a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with her. A man who gave her a ring and made her a promise...she needs to know what she's getting if she gives that up. You need to prove yourself to her, Jon." Rob said.

"I already have! She knows I love her, want her..."

"No, she knows you used to, and that you want her now because someone else has her..."

"That isn't why..."

"Tell her that. Show her. Fight for her Jon." Rob told him softly.

Jon took a few deep breaths, stood up and squared his shoulders. Hell yes, he was going to fight. He wasn't letting Allie go. He was gonna fight tooth and nail for her, make her see that they were meant for each other. If it was the last thing he did, he was going to keep fighting until he had her again.

Fuck Mark.

Fuck whatever Allie thought about him, he knew the truth.

Fuck pussyfooting around this situation. He was going to make his intentions clear.


	9. Wounds

_**Okay, warnings for this chapter. Although this fic is rated M I care about my readers and never want you to be negatively impacted by anything I write. This chapters deals with scenes describing self harm. **_

_**You've been warned.**_

_**Read On!**_

**Chapter 9**

Later that night, around midnight Jon drove to Allie's house. He was wearing a pair of faded blue jeans, ripped in the knee, and close to the thigh. God, he'd had these jeans for forever. Allie saw someone pull in the driveway and hoped it would be Mark. They needed to finish talking. She needed to tell him everything...

But it wasn't Mark. It was Jon. He flung open her door without even knocking, making her gasp. He left the door standing open as he walked over to her. She was wearing a navy blue silk nighty, and a white sheer robe over it. The nighty was dangerously short, and Jon's gaze traveled slowly over her. She was so beautiful.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked.

"I came to tell you that I'm not giving up. You seem to think it wouldn't work between us. You seemed determined not to give us a chance again, and I don't know why, but to be honest I don't actually care. I know you love me, and whether or not you can admit that to yourself doesn't change the fact that its true." he moved closer to her, and she stepped back.

Jon kept advancing on her until she was backed up against the wall completely.

"I love you, Allie, and I'm not letting you go again without a fight. I didn't have a chance last time, but this time around is different, and you're not going to be able to just slip away. I'm gonna fight. Dammit Allie I'm gonna fight so fucking hard for you!"

He nuzzled her neck. She stood stiff as a board.

"I'm not sure what's stopping you from being with me...I wish I knew." he whispered against her ear. "Do you even know?"

"I love him."

"That's fine. But it's not enough to last forever, is it?" he said.

She didn't answer.

"What we have is forever, Allie." he whispered as he lowered his lips to hers.

This time, she didn't kiss him back. He pulled away. He was scared shitless right now. He was losing her.

"Allie." he pleaded, "Don't throw us away, babe."

He kissed her again, and this time she opened up to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and felt his warm body press against her. He broke the kiss before they went too far again. She had some choices to make, and he didn't want to cloud her judgement any more than he already had.

"I'm gonna go home, but Allie babe, think about what I said. I love you so much, still. I want to be with you, and I'm talking forever here. Not just right now, or until it doesn't work. Forever. Me and you."

He left her standing against the wall, more confused than ever.

First thing the next morning she drove to Mark's house. Knocked on the door, and he let her in.

"I have something to tell you. Actually I have a few things to tell you." she said quickly.

"Okay...go ahead." he said as he folded his arms across his chest and stood on the other side of the island in his kitchen.

She took a deep breath. Here goes...everything. "When I was a teenager I was abused by my stepfather. Sexually, emotionally, physically. I met Jon while this was going on, and the last time he put me in the hospital, and I moved in with Jon to get away from him."

Mark said nothing, only blinked.

"Jon and I were happy. He was working towards his dream of moving up in the wrestling world, and I was planning for college. We were in love, and yes before you ask we did sleep together."

The vein in Mark's neck was pulsing now. Not a good sign.

"One night while Jon was out of town, Rob was staying with me and my stepdad tried to get inside the house and attack me. He really messed with my head, ya know. Like bad. I was out of my mind with worry, and I was scared all the time. I started cutting myself."

She shed her jacket and revealed her scars to Mark. She extended her forearms to him and his eyes widened a fraction as he took in their meanings.

"Jon helped me get over that, for the most part. It took a long time, but I was getting better. Then, one night my stepdad broke into our house and attacked me, and Jon. He stabbed Jon, and I wound up shooting him. I killed him."

"God, Allie." Mark said.

"After that I was really messed up, and I left Jon. Just up and fucking left him like a little bitch. I was going crazy, and needed to get better. Eventually, I did as you know. But I never saw Jon again until this week when he came back to town. And its like...I don't know, Mark. I still love him, he's in my heart, and I don't know what to do about it because I love you too." she shrugged and waited for Mark's response.

"So, you've been lying to me since he's been back about who he was? Saying he was just an old friend..."

"Yes. I've been lying. And I hate myself for it because you are a great man, Mark. You deserve so much better."

Mark was quiet for a long while. Just standing there, one hand on his hip, the other rubbing his jaw. Finally, he spoke up, "Wow, its like I don't even know you at all...who are you?"

"I'm Allie." she shrugged and let her arms fall at her sides. "And despite what you are thinking right now I do love you, but there's something else you need to know."

"I don't think I want to..."

"You don't, but I have to be honest."

"Allie, I don't want to know, please don't tell me." he was rubbing a hand over his face.

"I slept with Jon."

"You already said that."

"A few nights ago." she said.

He looked up, emotion written all over his face. Rage, hurt, sadness, disappointment.

"I'm so sorry." she pleaded. "I never meant to hurt you, Mark."

Once more he went completely silent until he said, "I thought this whole time that you were just as much in love with me as I was you...but if he can come into town and be with you in just a matter of days...that isn't true. I don't know if you really do love me."

"I do!"

"No, Allie I think you love him. And now I see why there was never room for me in your life really. He was still there...you still...feel for him."

"Mark..."

"And if we were to get married it would never be just us. He'd be there, whether he was actually there or not. He'd be hanging over us like a shadow for the rest of our lives, and that's not something I want. If you're with me, I want you to be with me and only me. Heart and soul. Is that too much to ask?"

"No." she whispered.

"I need some time to think about things, Allie...but I want the ring back."

Allie bit her lip. She'd figured on this, but it stung and hurt so bad. In hurting Mark, she'd hurt herself. She slipped the ring off and placed it on the counter in front of her.

"Actually, I don't need to think about it. I don't want to be with you anymore, Allie. You cheated on me, you lied to me, and its clear you're in love with someone else and always have been. Guess I was just too stupid to see it before now." He shrugged his shoulders.

Allie only nodded and picked up her jacket before turning around to leave. She cried the whole way home. Her heart was broken. She had to tell Mark the truth, and there was no way around it. She hoped he would eventually forgive her, and maybe give her another chance but it looked like that would never happen.

She didn't even know if she and Jon could really make it work. In her mind she just threw away a life with Mark for maybe nothing. Who knew what would happen if she and Jon got together again for good?

Her heart was broken. She had a shitty way of showing it, but she did love Mark and he was in her heart. Now he was gone. Jon didn't seem like the forever type of guy, despite his words. All she knew right now was she needed a drink. She needed to cry, the pain was too much to handle.

She got home, and rushed in to the bathroom. The thoughts were creeping into her mind again...

_You know how to block out the pain, Allie. _

_You know how to calm yourself down._

_You know how to make it stop..._

She looked in the mirror, and then down to her razor sitting on the sink. She hated everything right now. She ruined her whole life for Jon, how could she be so stupid? She stared at the razor, and listened to the voices, and suddenly she was a teenager again.

Felt like she had no where to go. No one to run to. No safe place to hide.

_You're such a fuck up, Allie._

_You didn't seriously think you could be happy, did you?_

_You don't deserve to be happy._

"Shut up!" she screamed as she covered her ears, and sank to the bathroom floor, razor in hand. She wasn't sure when she even picked it up. She thought about the pain she'd caused Mark today. The pain she'd caused Jon three years ago, and the pain she'd inflicted upon herself now as the result of both.

God, what was wrong with her?

_Look at you, you're a mess. Crying like a little bitch! _

"SHUT UP!" she screamed through her tears.

_You know how to make me shut up._

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she lost all hope, and took the razor to her wrist, slicing across her vein. She watched the blood flow to the surface. For a moment she was afraid, but then she felt so warm, and saw spots before her eyes. She gave herself over to the darkness because it was so much better than feeling the way she felt.


	10. Surrender

**Lyrics belong to Seether.**

**Chapter 10**

_**I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh.**_

_**I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away.**_

_**I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well.**_

_**I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away.**_

_**Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away.**_

_**You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore.**_

Allie was resting blissfully on a bed. A bed with black sheets. It was warm, and she was happy. The room was pitch black, but she could still see. She rolled over, expecting to feel a warm body beside her for some reason, but there was no one.

She was suddenly sad because whomever she expected to be there, wasn't. She was alone. She tried to pull herself up from the mattress, but it seemed as if invisible arms were holding her down. She writhed, and struggled to get up, but some unseeable force was keeping her down, pinned against the bed.

She kicked and scratched. She tried to scream but found that her voice was gone. Panic was setting in, and suddenly her vision went dark, and she became deaf. It was like drowning in hopelessness.

She felt something wet and sticking on her arms. The more she moved, and struggled the more of the strange wetness she felt. Then she smelled it. Blood. Her own? Was it? She couldn't remember. She didn't how she got here, or where 'here' even was. She was lost.

So she waited.

Jon had to see Allie after their encounter last night. He didn't want to push himself on her, but he needed to look in her eyes. God help him, he couldn't make himself stay away. He noticed her door was left ajar. He pushed his way in, like he would have anyway.

"Allie?" he called.

No answer. Her car was in the drive so he knew she was home...

He headed toward the bathroom. He peeked inside from down the hall and saw her slumped against the wall.

"Allie?" he broke out into a run until he reached the bathroom. The first thing he noticed was the sickening smell of blood. The second was Allie's still, unmoving, pale body with blood streaming from her wrist.

With hurried, shaking hands he dialed 911. He told them what happened, or what he assumed happened. He grabbed a towel and held it to her wrist.

"Oh, God." he whispered as he tried to stop the bleeding.

"Allie!" he screamed at her face.

"Allie!" he smacked her cheek a little. Her head only fell to the side.

He wrapped an arm around her neck and pulled her to him. His face buried in her hair. In that moment he found himself bargaining with God. Praying even though he wasn't sure he even believed in such things.

_Please don't take her away from me._

Allie was waiting. Resting uncomfortably now on the huge bed. The black sheets were wrapping themselves around her and it was getting harder to breathe. This wasn't supposed to be what dying felt like. There was supposed to be a white light...a hope.

There was none of that for Allie as she surrendered herself to the unseen forces that tried to pull her away.

The ambulance arrived and Jon rode along. They got to the hospital and they took Allie back. Took her away from him. He called Rob, and sat and waited. Rob rushed as fast as his truck would take him.

"Mox!" he called as he came sprinting up the corridor.

"Rob, thank God. I'm going fucking nuts. No one has been out to tell me fuck!"

"What happened?" Rob asked.

"I don't know. I went over to her place this morning and found her on the bathroom floor. It looked like she'd cut her wrist. You don't think she was actually trying to kill herself do you? I mean, she wouldn't. She's better now. I thought she was better? She's supposed to be...better." his voice cracked and Rob pulled the devastated man in for a hug.

"I can't lose her, man. Not now. Not after everything." Jon cried.

Rob himself was scared out of his mind that he might lose Allie. She meant so much to him, but he kept it inside and stayed strong for Jon. That's just the kind of person he was.

Just then, a doctor came walking towards them.

"Are you the man who came in with Miss Hamilton?" he asked.

"Yes, that's me." Jon spoke up as he wiped his face with the back of his hand, "How is she? When can I see her?"

The doctor's face changed, and it made Jon's heart stop beating.

The doctor clutched the clipboard in his hands, "Sir, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this...

_**Sorry this was such a short chapter, but I guess you know why...sad.**_


	11. Curtain Call

_**Okay guys, the next chapter is the final chapter for Jon and Allie unless you want to read a third part to their story! PM me, or leave your answer in the reviews! I have a few ideas, just don't know if anyone would be interested...sooo let me know :)**_

**Chapter 11**

"Sir, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but you can't see her for at least twenty four hours."

"Why not?" Jon asked with an unsteady voice.

"She's going to be undergoing a psychiatric evaluation. The manner of her injuries, and given her past scars we're going to make sure she'll be okay." the doctor explained.

"But, she's _physically_ alright though?" Rob asked, stepping forward.

"Well, she lost a lot of blood. We had to administer some to her, and for the most part she is fine. Our main concern is honestly why she injured herself. Do you know if she's had any stress, or depression lately? Know of any issues that may make her feel lost, or confused?" the doctor asked.

Mox and Rob exchanged knowing glances, "She has been under some stress." Jon muttered.

The doctor said a few more words, and explained about the evaluation before taking his leave.

"So basically what he's saying is "Go home because you're not seeing her, and we don't want you hanging around for no reason."" Jon said.

"Yeah." Rob answered, "Come on man, lets head home."

Jon was silent on the way home, tension and stress iminating off of him in waves. Rob gripped the steering wheel of his truck so hard his knuckles turned white. A part of him blamed Jon for this, even though he would never admit it.

With Jon out of her life Allie was happy, and healthy. The minute Jon walks back in he turns her life upside down. Rob knew he didn't actually feel this way deep down, but it was there...on the surface because of his rage and worry over Allie.

If anything happened to her...no, he pushed the thought away.

"She's going to be okay." he said out loud. More to himself than to Jon, but it drew the younger man out of his thoughts.

"I know, because she's a fighter." Jon whispered.

"Hell yes she is." Rob agreed.

"But you know, this, all this fucking mess is my fault." he was still whispering, and staring out the window as they drove through the night.

"The last time she was laying in a hospital bed it was because a psychopath put her there, and this time...well...it's because I put her there."

"Jon, you didn't have anything to do with this."

Suddenly, Jon screamed at the top of his voice, and Rob pulled the truck over to the side of the dark highway. As soon as the wheels stopped rolling Jon jumped out, grabbing at his hair and groaning as if in pain.

Rob jumped out and stood watching him. His breath showing in the cold night air. He hadn't seen Jon like this for a while...

"Jon." he said sternly.

Mox kept pulling at his hair, bending over and screaming and groaning at the top of his voice.

"Jon!" Rob said firmly as he walked towards him.

He grabbed his shoulders, and before Jon knew what he was doing he had landed a hard punch on Rob's jaw. Rob stepped back, and rubbed his jaw. He had a look of total disbelief in his eyes, and before he could stop himself he'd punched Jon back, knocking him on his backside.

Rob put every ounce of strength he had into the hit, and it felt good to let off some steam. He walked away to keep from doing something else stupid, and Jon stayed sitting on the cold ground. A few minutes later Rob came walking back. He stared at Jon, and Jon pulled himself up off the ground and got back in the truck.

Rob joined him a few moments later, "Better now?" he asked.

"A little." Jon said.

"Good."

They reached Jon's house and neither of them spoke. Jon went straight for the shower while Rob locked himself in Allie's old bedroom with the weight bench. He was doing reps, and he'd lost count whenever Jon opened the door, propping a hip on the doorway.

Rob grunted on the last lift, and set the bar up. Jon's eyes scanned the room. He hadn't really been in there since he'd been back. Rob sat up and wiped sweat off his shirtless body with the t-shirt he'd discarded.

Jon was staring at the floor, "This is all my fault."

"I don't think its _all_ your fault." Rob replied.

"So you do think its partly because of me."

"I think you got involved in something you shouldn't have. I think you're too intense for Allie sometimes. You forget she's still so young, Jon. She's only 21. You're six years older than her. I think she was lost, and confused and not sure who to trust. And you come in and let her sleep with you knowing what was going to happen!"

Silence fell on the room again and Rob was the first one to break it, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Yeah, you did." Jon said.

"Okay," Rob shrugged, "I did mean it. I know you two love each other, but I worry about the two of you and how you will make it work. You're both pretty fucked up."

"I know, right." Jon smirked, "I just hope she'll be okay...and that she'll forgive me."

"I hope so too." Rob whispered as he laid back on the bench and picked up the bar again, "I really do."

The next night Jon and Rob went back to the hospital to see Allie. Rob waited outside while Jon went in to see her. She was awake, and alert. The moment he walked into the room she called out to him with tear-filled eyes.

"I didn't mean to do it, Jon! I promise. I didn't mean for it to go that far..."

He was by her side in an instant, holding her hand and kissing her forehead. "I know, baby. I'm so sorry Allie. I always find a way to fuck up your life no matter what. Even when I'm trying to fix it." he sighed, "I just love you so much."

"I love you too." she whispered.

"What?" His blue eyes stared down into her gray ones.

"I love you too, Jon."

"What about Mark?" he asked.

"Its over. He broke it off, and now after everything I finally realize what I want." she whispered as she closed her eyes and he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Is there room for two in that bed?" he asked in her ear.

"There's always room for you." she said simply while scooting over.

Once he was settled in the bed, Allie's head resting comfortably on his chest he whispered, "No more of this, Allie. No more of this shit. Hurting yourself is wrong, and you know it. You _know_ it, Allie. You lived through it once...why did you go back to it?" he asked.

"I don't know. I don't want to even think about how stupid I was. I just want you to hold me." she whispered.

He obliged, and soon Allie drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


	12. Author's Note

_**Hey guys, well I was going to post another chapter, but I decided that i liked the ending the way it was. Plus, I dropped and shattered my laptop last night :(**_

_**A sequek is still in the works though, and it will be called Best of the Best. So look for it soon! :)**_

_**Thank you everyone for the support, and for loving Jon and Allie just as much as me!**_

_**MUCH LOVE, XOXOXOXOX.**_


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